Don't blow off this post if you hate the idea of signing. To be completely honest with you, when Audette was an infant I gave baby sign language the thumbs down too. I had heard so many bad reviews about babies learning to talk late, having difficulty communicating with other adults and children, etc. You've probably heard them too. Rather than do a little research, I completely blocked the idea. That is until Audette turned one.
Reaching the lovely age of one brings about so much fun, but it also can be a stressful time for your little one when it comes to communication. Like most moms, we ran in to this road block pretty early on. Audette is very expressive and a little dramatic, so she has always had so much to say, even when she can't really say it. We started to see mini meltdowns surface, I'm sure out of pure frustration that she could not get her point across.
That's right! Every kid has tantrums and meltdowns. I know that in the wide world of social media we all like to pretend that our child is perfect 100% of the time. And yes, they are all pretty perfect, but disappointments happen for even the tiniest of people. It is our job to teach our kids how to handle those disappointments with grace.
I love my go to mom advice source, Baby Center, when dealing with tough problems. Here's what they say about the subject:
Sometimes you can modify your child's environment in small ways to help him stay engaged and avoid meltdowns. That said, it's not your job to make life fun and free of frustration. Your child will get upset and dissolve into tears and tantrums. It's all a normal part of how kids learn and grow, so don't take it personally!
That said, I took this advice to heart about a month ago when Audette met one of my best friends from high school for the first time. Audette was having a rough day, one for the books, and I was getting to the point of embarrassment, where I was just ready to call it quits and take Audi home for the night and never let her leave the house again! Fortunately, my friend has loads of experience with kids, having worked as a nanny for years. The grumpiness didn't cause her to skip a beat and the first thing she suggested to help with the tantrums was to teach a couple of basic signs. She said, in her experience, most frustration just comes from the communication learning curve.
Still reluctant about signing, I decided to give it a shot. A month later, we are seeing MAJOR improvement. Believe it or not the above picture is the best image I could capture of Audi signing "MORE".
Here is what we did to get started:
- Figure out what causes the most frustration for your little one. For us it is food. Always food.
- Learn basic signs to help solve those problems. I chose ten. No more. And we probably only use five on a daily basis. This is where I found the best simple list, Top Ten Starter Signs, complete with videos.
- Start using them EVERY chance you get. And say the word while you sign. Consistency is the key. Make sure when you start to see the meltdown coming on, just get down on your kids level and talk them through it using the signs.
- Watch for the miraculous day when your child comes to get you and starts signing AND saying MORE or MILK. I was shocked that it all happened at once, saying the word AND signing. I wouldn't be surprised if Audette started speaking with the signs because we only started learning sign language at an age where language really starts to blossom. I don't regret doing the signs with her though, even though she can say the words too. It helped us focus on her frustrations and find a solution for them that SHE could initiate. I probably understand her words better because they are accompanied by a sign too. Plus, it is almost a game to her, so rather than getting mad when she has a need, she gets to express herself in a fun and rewarding way.
I would love to hear other mom's experiences, so please share. For us, whether Audette is sleepy or hungry, the whole experience is a million times better now that Audette enjoys communicating with us!
Love this idea, I may have to jump on this before Hazel hits the angry tantrum phase...I can feel it on the horizon! :)
ReplyDeleteMelissa,
DeleteI have a hard time imagining Hazel angry. :) Let me know how it works.
xo Darien
I tried teaching Emmie signs since about 6-9 months of age, but she just never used them. She started getting pretty good with a few new words, then suddenly caught on to the sign language around 14 months, and won't use her words anymore! It's a tad frustrating for me because I fear it will hold back her language progression, but I can tell she has a lot of word recognition by the way she follows directions or points to objects when we ask where they are. She also decided to march to the beat of her own drum when it came to signs, and took every sign I gave her and made up her own version of it. For example--the "more" sign above, she taps a finger to the palm of her hand. She used to say "up!" all the time when she wanted to be picked up, now she never says it, and just pats her chest. If we don't happen to be looking at her when she does it, she gets really frustrated. So, I'm only slightly on board with the whole signing thing at this point (17 months), because I've seen her verbal language skills regress significantly, and I have to explain to babysitters all her made-up signs :). I still think it's a good skill though and maybe our next kiddo will react differently to it. This post was a really positive review of it! Good to read :)
ReplyDeleteBeth,
DeleteThis is exactly what held me back from signing in the first place. I think I tend to shy away from anything that may not work perfectly for my kid. Unfortunately, everything we do is trial and error, right? Ha. Moms who have had similar experiences to you have told me that around 2 years their kids language really blossoms and they couldn't tell a difference later in life, despite the slight regression. It is also very possible that, like you said, different kids probably just react differently to a skill. The fact that you are able to communicate though at 17 months, whether it is by signing or speaking is till pretty impressive!
I would love to hear more about Emmie and how her language skills progress because Audette is right behind her!
xo Darien
As a speech therapist, the benefits of baby signing are tremendous. There is actually very little research that would say baby signing halts language. Sign language is a language. Once you start working on any language, all language will follow. You are smart to ALWAYS pair the sign with the spoken word. As long as you do that, verbal language will definitely follow! All the research I have read or heard about says baby sign language is the way to go! You could also look up PECS. This uses pictures to communicate. As long as the pictures are paired with spoken words, again, it will make communication easier and will encourage spoken language!
ReplyDeleteKara,
DeleteThanks so much for reading and for your expert opinion! That makes complete sense that no matter what language you are teaching, you are still teaching a language. That is probably why so many parents have great success with teaching foreign languages to their children at a young age. I will definitely look in to PECS too. I am curious to see how similar it is to the use of flash cards because we use them a ton at our house.
Although I am just starting this project, I am always seeking more voices for this blog, especially experts! I would love to have you contribute if you are interested.
xo Darien
I also wanted to give my "two cents" as a speech therapist - and I love what Kara said. Children (people) will use the most efficient way of communicating - and for a typically developing child, that will be speech, despite learning signs earlier than the verbal abilities develop. Beth's experience is interesting, but she's wise to consider her child's understanding skills as evidence that she is probably doing just fine language-wise.
ReplyDeleteStephanie,
DeleteI was actually just talking to someone today who shared with me a story about his nephew who uses sign language as a way to communicate because of cysts on his throat that prevent him from speaking. I know this is such a rare situation, but while he is undergoing surgical procedures to allow him to speak, sign language has become such an important part of his ability to interact with his family.
Even though this is an extreme case, I can only imagine for those children who are not developing at a typical rate, sign language is an excellent answer for families. As is the case with most things, parents intuition is wonderful for making decisions on whether to use sign language or not. And for developmental concerns, speech therapists are so important! Glad you are out there helping children and their parents.
Thanks for your input!
xo Darien