A couple of days ago I stumbled across the link to a film project called Real Beauty Sketches, created by Dove, on the Striving Onward blog Facebook page. You won't want to miss this. I watched it and was in tears by the end. What a perfect message: you are more beautiful than you think.
"We spend a lot of time, as women, trying to analyze and fix the things that aren't quite right, but we should spend more time appreciating the things that we do like."
I fall in to the category of women who think about everything that needs to be fixed. I want to go to the gym to work on my thighs. I look in the mirror and notice all of my blemishes or the lack of a tan. I step on the scale and think about how much I weighed on my wedding day.
I don't know if I will ever be able to clear those thoughts from my head, but I think there are two things that can really help me and any other woman struggling with this sense self-doubt.
Replace the negative with positive
The key is recognizing the good. Just like in the project, women were able to recognize the differences in the two sketches once the two were complete. What good can I notice about myself? I have a lovely smile and I really like the color of my hair (despite a couple of grays that are popping in). I also love to laugh and sing, even though my voice isn't anything memorable. In no way am I intending to sound vain, but I think as women, we need to find those features, both outside and in, that bring us joy. Usually those are the same features that other people find memorable about us as well.
Find support and be a support
This weekend I spent time with my mother and several of her dearest girlfriends. Because my mom is one of my best friends, I consider this group of ladies some of my closest friends too, or even a group of second mothers. Lucky for me, they have more experience in life and are a wealth of wisdom from which I get to glean any time I am around. I don't remember the exact details of the conversation that went on between a couple of them one morning over breakfast, but do remember being struck by their example on this subject matter. The exchange was simple: as we were all looking at pictures one of the women said, "I look chubby." Then another replied, "Friend, remember we don't say that about ourselves."
I know that all of these women probably fall in to the same trap that I do, but what a wonderful example for me to see this tight knit group of ladies support and rally around each other to remind one another of their true beauty. It was almost as if they had made a pact together or had a discussion at an earlier date where they decided they wouldn't say negative things about themselves.
Why does it matter that we think we are beautiful? Why do we need to find true beauty in ourselves? Because it is the only way we will find true beauty in the people around us, most importantly, our daughters. Think of the example my mother and her friends are setting for their daughters and for mine.
I don't want to be the mother who points out all of my daughters flaws. Instead, I think this week I am going to stand in front of the mirror with my daughter and point out all of her beauty and my own. What a difference it would make if every mother would do that with her daughters every week. I would love to hear from you too. What do you do to remind yourself and your daughters that they are truly beautiful?
love this post! Its easy to think negatively, especially when people are surrounded by competitive people and other moms. I wanht to always speak positive of my daughter and remind her that she is absolutely perfect just the way she is. thank you for this post!
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